The Art of Irrelevance

 All Human life is a struggle for being relevant, in a way. When a child is born, he needs to be spanked on his bottom by the doctor to let out  a cry or a sharp yelp to make the World aware that he is  alive.As the child grows up , whenever he is hungry or seeks attention, he lets his mother or attendant know , remember only crying babies gets milk. Similarly , as a young child he is always trying to catch the attention of his loved ones through his behaviour which is attuned to please them,be it in the recitation of a poem, or singing a song or only thru his antics. Growing up further, the child tries to excel in academics or sports or such other activities which make his loved ones proud of him, all in the pursuit of being relevant. In his profession or vocation, there is always an achievement motivation which makes him compete to be more relevant than others .This journey continues all his life.

Relevance is reflected through one’s position or status in life too. Higher pay and higher designation are also a manifestation of relevance and the lack of these renders one irrelevant.  Fame and Recognition are also similar manifestations specially for politicians and actors but in some degree for all humans too. Imagine a nameless , faceless existence. Therefore , there is always this struggle  for any individual to be more  or equally relevant compared to  his past and also more relevant than others too. 

Relevant in whose eyes? Depends. For a child , his parents. For a student, his parents, teachers and friends. For an employee, his colleagues, his bosses, his friends, and family – by being for them,  by caring for them,giving them the time and attention that they deserve ensuring that their needs are fulfiled, through investments in time, effort and money to the best of his abilities. For a politician, his party members, his party bosses and of course his electorate besides his family and friends and the society at large. The moot point being that the area of relevance increases based on your sphere of activity, the larger the sphere, the higher the need for relevance.

All retiree’s also go thru this fear of irrelevance . And some prepare for this transition more successfully than others. After reaching some position in life where they command respect , have some responsibilities and commensurate authority, one eventual day it is all over. Some  hanker for post retirement sinecures, some prepare for it in advance and pursue alternate careers or alternate interests or hobbies post retirement,some say that they would do nothing , spend time with family and children. I have rarely found anybody post retirement doing nothing and by nothing I mean nothing at all. All human beings are social animals and while we may curtail our needs, we can’t decide one day to give it all up and do nothing at all. But , on a deeper plane, everyone is trying to be relevant in their sphere of interaction. Nothing wrong about it. It’s a normal human transition.

Relevant for how long? As long as they are alive and physically fit, perhaps . It’s quite a rarity for somebody who is physically and mentally fit post retirement to decide and announce his withdrawal from society. He may change his sphere of activity, narrow it down, perhaps , but yet will continue his pursuit of remaining relevant. And if he decides to do nothing at all eventually, in the eyes of his spouse , if alive or the family which supports him, he will continue to be relevant in some way. As long as he exists in a societal space, there will always be a need for being relevant in some way or the other.

How does this struggle end? The clue lies in our ashram system, brahmacharya, grihasth, vanaprasth and finally sanyas. (The orthodox Hindu  has a framework for life divided into four stages  of student,householder,forest dweller and renunciate) From grihasth to vanaprasth is a difficult transition, and therefrom to Sanyaas, many times more difficult and hence  becoming a Sanyasi is an achievement . How does one achieve Sanyaas and does everyone even need to try and achieve this?  What happens to most of us who are content with our grihasth ashram, are we lesser mortals ? Does Vanprasthashram  really require relinquishing all your responsibilities  and handing over the reins to the next generation , without ever worrying about their welfare ? And then becoming a sanyasi, overcoming all your desires , renouncing the world ,come easily ? Perhaps not. 

 And what if you skip all or some of the stages of life and decide to be irrelevant  to others and the World and try and become relevant only to yourself? Ultimately,that’s what a sanyasi is trying to achieve , striving to establish relevance with the Almighty.

Is there , therefore, a need to redefine our ashram system to overcome the historical narrowness in its interpretation and how to contextualise it in a modern framework are issues which provoke my thoughts these days. How to master the  Art of being  Irrelevant ?

Would be happy to receive your guidance and views on the above.